tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37138122011-08-12T10:46:22.171-04:00the not yet determined journalAramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.comBlogger4041100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-91844571944350427612007-11-08T21:07:00.000-05:002007-11-08T21:26:38.417-05:00

9:12 pmfeeling like shit right now.My uncle is leaving his family and returning to south America taking the ashes of my Grandfather with him. I will miss my crazy uncle but I'm happy that Grandad is going back to his homeland. He will be back in Guyana before Christmas.I may never see my Uncle again.I can't even the remember the last time I saw him. He didn't even come to my wedding, he and

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-43771101206797304392007-08-10T15:57:00.000-04:002007-08-10T15:59:40.252-04:00

I've missed my blog.things are different and this is my place.i quit my job, but before i did i was offered a great new one. closer to home more $ the whole deal. things have been going well there, i like the people.my husband quit his job and currently is napping on the couch.love him tonnes but he better wake up soon !back to blog!aramaT*happy to be back*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-69366720192383153512007-06-08T09:09:00.001-04:002007-06-08T09:09:39.094-04:00

Thank the gods it's Friday! This week was difficult to say the least... This job makes me feel manic, I'm up and I'm down. My thoughts today are with my husband, he has had a terrible week. He didn't go into work and today he needs to get a doctors note to explain his absence. Poor Federico is depressed about his career. He's been working hard this week to get his resumes out so he can quit. If

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1164655404018737182006-11-27T14:17:00.000-05:002006-11-27T14:23:24.036-05:00

Lots has changed since my last post. I did get fired from that job when I told them I was getting married. Fine, a bunch of bitches anyway.Well, on September 23rd Fred and I finally made it legal. It was a wonderful day. Our wedding was perfect. The sun came out as we said our vows it was amazing. Even better was leaving for 3 weeks after for Italy, Germany, Switzerland and Austria. We spend

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1155944962026109342006-08-18T19:44:00.000-04:002006-08-18T19:49:22.026-04:00

Cannal shot Originally uploaded by aramat. Beautiful night

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1155944768272739012006-08-18T19:41:00.000-04:002006-08-18T19:46:25.346-04:00

waiting for my drug dealer to call so I can get high...It's been on of those days.I got the job and I start on Monday. I'm thrilled I really am. I'm just scared that when I tell them I need 3 weeks for my honeymoon they won't be very happy.I also need to get laid in huge way! Our timing has been really off lately. Last friday we had plans for a hot night, then Julia went and cut her hand open.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1155432806368800942006-08-12T21:13:00.000-04:002006-08-12T21:33:29.606-04:00

My poor sister butchered her hand last night. Fred and I rushed to the hospital to meet her and her boyfriend. Her eyes were red from crying, she was holding her bleeding hand in a tea towel. She burst into tears when she saw me. God I love that girl. I was so happy to see 5 fingers moving so I knew she'd be OK. Six hours later we left with 12 stitches in her hand. She was a brave girl I gotta

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1151678648612433342006-06-30T10:40:00.000-04:002006-06-30T10:44:08.670-04:00

I want to be a farmer Originally uploaded by aramat. Oh I want to be a farmer! I want to play in the dirt all day, pick weeds and watch my veggies grow. Now I have to convince Fred that we should be organic farmers...

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1150984936558744892006-06-22T09:58:00.000-04:002006-06-22T10:02:16.616-04:00

Last night in my garden Originally uploaded by aramat. Fred and I planted 3 different varieties of lettuce. I can't wait to eat a salad from our garden. I think I want to be a farmer.aramat*the farmer*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1150751397234649382006-06-19T17:06:00.000-04:002006-06-19T17:10:34.686-04:00

close up of Fred cutting WooDOriginally uploaded by aramat. CoCaine, chainsaws and firewORKS!That was Natasha's birthday party in the Tdot a few weekends ago.Good Times I tell ya. Fred and I partied like mad, which we rarely do together. He even smoked butts! To bad he spent a few hours barfing while I was doing lines with the neighbors upstairs... ahhh good times......

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1150750395779737952006-06-19T16:49:00.000-04:002006-06-19T16:55:11.156-04:00

close up of my cherryOriginally uploaded by aramat. How does my garden grow?Very well these days!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1149868668534749322006-06-09T11:50:00.000-04:002006-06-09T11:57:49.230-04:00

I think I'm slightly crazy. I threw a huge hissy fit this morning when Fred told me we had to go back to our old apartment to get Neville's canoe. We were storing it at our old place because it fit very nicely between the houses. Here, at our new place we can' t do that. When Mr.C finishes putting up the new fence I'm sure the canoe will fit between the garage and the fence. So now its sitting

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1149778988597732472006-06-08T10:52:00.000-04:002006-06-08T11:03:08.920-04:00

The move to our new house has been interesting. For one I pretty much moved the whole house in our Golf. God I love that car! Were on our third Italian land lord. Mr. C is unique to say the least. He and the neighbors have been in a fight for years over the property line. Mr.C Wants to put a fence in and in the process he cut down 3 tree's. I hate that he did that but it's his house. The crazy

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1147875764210515312006-05-17T10:13:00.000-04:002006-05-17T10:22:44.496-04:00

10:11 amwhy is my sister stressing me so much? I couldn't sleep. all because I didn't call her back soon enough for her. When I did, she soon hung up on me. I am so happy that my sister is living here now, she is my best friend. Although, as soon as the wedding is over I'm sure she'll leave. I can't get over how immature she is. If she doesn't get her way, she sulks and bitches. Fuck, she's 26

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1146529902464483392006-05-01T20:31:00.000-04:002006-05-01T20:34:12.510-04:00

Suppa StarOriginally uploaded by aramat. yeah that's me in the Tdot.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1143644777163746432006-03-29T09:59:00.000-05:002006-03-29T10:06:17.413-05:00

uh...It's barely 10am and I cried already today. I really need a job asap!The best news all week is that I'm an Auntie! Phred's sister inlaw had a baby girl! The pictures are so cute, were heading down to the Tdot Friday to meet little Coco. Yes, that's right her name is Coco.. Cute, I just hope she doesn't get teased much.I was browsing some old posts of mine and I stumbled across a vent I had

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1142005522143846982006-03-10T10:45:00.000-05:002006-03-10T10:45:22.246-05:00

I think I'm ready to start writing again.I'm ready to face the truth, to see it in black and white,to accept and to move forward.baby steps...AraMAT*6 months till I marry*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1142001252069717732006-03-10T09:34:00.000-05:002006-03-10T10:23:17.820-05:00

The ProjectOriginally uploaded by aramat. Well our wedding is about 6 months away and I'm beading like crazy to finish table decorations that will look like these! I hope everyone will like them, I think its a nice idea since I was beading when Fred proposed!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1139856245370725202006-02-13T13:44:00.000-05:002006-03-10T10:09:03.933-05:00

JohnOriginally uploaded by aramat. In memory of my beautiful cousin John who died 2 years ago today. I love you and I miss you John.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1132349101551068572005-11-18T16:25:00.000-05:002005-11-18T16:25:01.556-05:00

New Shoes Originally uploaded by aramat. Love my new shoes!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1132348203752221242005-11-18T16:09:00.000-05:002005-11-18T16:10:03.763-05:00

Long time no blog.Busy these days with wedding planning and worry about my sista in spain.I wish she'd come home.Or at least for Christmas...AraMat*sad*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1129233536760860992005-10-13T15:58:00.000-04:002005-10-13T15:58:56.803-04:00

fACE Originally uploaded by aramat. I feel punching someone in the face!Angry outburt!!!I miss my sista!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1128348999505000002005-10-03T10:16:00.000-04:002005-10-03T10:16:39.556-04:00

sister and father Originally uploaded by aramat. My dad is missing.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1128016914988909592005-09-29T14:01:00.000-04:002005-09-29T14:01:55.033-04:00

John Originally uploaded by aramat. I miss you so much..

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1124650822491338742005-08-21T15:00:00.000-04:002005-08-21T15:00:22.543-04:00

Pink LemON Originally uploaded by aramat. taken in the back yard last weekend...I think I'll take some more photo's today...Fred is fishing, I'g getting high and a little tipsy...araMAT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1123164939978852552005-08-04T10:15:00.000-04:002005-08-04T10:15:39.983-04:00

The dress Originally uploaded by aramat. My sister took this picture while shopping for wedding dresess. I hate them all, despite the smile on my face.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1123164832384114642005-08-04T10:13:00.000-04:002005-08-04T10:13:52.426-04:00

#100 Originally uploaded by Coffee Break. can't take credit for taking it.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1123117160246504212005-08-03T20:59:00.000-04:002005-08-03T20:59:20.293-04:00

Darth Sista Originally uploaded by aramat.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1122989980752762612005-08-02T09:39:00.000-04:002005-08-02T09:39:40.803-04:00

Mr. Snappy! Originally uploaded by aramat. St.Francis lake Out Algonquin trip. This turtle was aggressive!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1122640551504115742005-07-29T08:35:00.000-04:002005-07-29T08:35:51.560-04:00

DEAD MOUSE!! Originally uploaded by aramat. I found this little mouse in my back yard. I almost ran him over with the lawn mower.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1121257784900945692005-07-13T08:15:00.000-04:002005-07-13T08:29:44.906-04:00

8:16 ammy fami ly is keeping things from me again.Julia called me last night and said not to call our parents. It seems my fatherhad an assessment meeting yesterday for his drinking and they recommendedthat he report today for a three week detox. I guess after hearing that he went outand got wasted. So my poor mother had to deal with that last night. I knew his assessmentwas coming up but I

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1120844275766321242005-07-08T13:34:00.000-04:002005-07-08T13:37:55.770-04:00

1:34 pmYesterday I spent an incredible 8 hours in the emergency room.After being poked and prodded by strangers I'm happy to say myreproductive organs are in good shape but the problem lies with mycolon. So I must undergo more test... The scary thing is my Aunt diedof Colon cancer. Having it in your family increases your chances.... GreatI'm going to die! lol at my own mortality.araMAT *still in

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1120676139548233752005-07-06T14:55:00.000-04:002005-07-06T14:55:39.610-04:00

My engagement Ring Originally uploaded by aramat. Here's a better pic of my beauty!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1120664970692914012005-07-06T11:49:00.000-04:002005-07-06T11:49:30.746-04:00

Me Originally uploaded by aramat. Making risotto for dinner one night when we were camping in Algonquin park over the Canada day weekend.we ate very well!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1120567436589377202005-07-05T08:27:00.000-04:002005-07-05T08:46:58.100-04:00

8:27 amStill recovering from our long weekend. Fred and I went back country campingin Alongquin provincial Park, it was the most remote camping adventure we haveever been on. It took a good 5 hours to paddle out to our site, not to mention themany and long portatages we had to go through. I have to say I'm very impressed withboth of us. We work well as a team. At times we did get tense with each

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1119362301530105542005-06-21T09:39:00.000-04:002005-06-21T09:58:21.536-04:00

9:39 amsometimes its so hard to put aside family drama and live my owe life.I live a good 5 hours away from my parents but we talk all the time, well Ishould say I talk to my mum often. Although I must say, jail gavemy dad lots of time to think on Fathers Day and yesterday we had themost open and honest discussion about his alcoholism ever.I'm cautiously optimistic about his recovery.I'm still

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1119021038632917082005-06-17T10:56:00.000-04:002005-06-17T11:10:38.636-04:00

10:57 amwell I just got out of an very interesting meeting...I was taken into the ladies locker room because we lackproper facilities were three of my supervisors have decidedto take a "step back" in my training. Something I thought I hadcompleted. They want me to bring my completed work to themonce I've finished for their review.. I guess I have made a few errors.They are taking responsibility

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1118926296175247532005-06-16T08:48:00.000-04:002005-06-16T08:51:36.180-04:00

8:48 ambusy week.I can't wait for it to be over.frustrated beyond words this morning, I'm finally calming down.I don't even feel like spewing out the fore mentioned frustration,I'm just too tired today.aramaT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1118320674690107302005-06-09T08:33:00.000-04:002005-06-09T08:37:54.696-04:00

8:33 amI'm falling apart.yesterday in the afternoon my back started to ache, today I could barely get out of bed.when I was lying in bed I felt this pain in my groin area, not a muscle pain but a small lump that is sore to the touch. Just sitting here at my desk its uncomfortable.araMAT *wants to go home*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1118082697919784892005-06-06T14:28:00.000-04:002005-06-06T14:31:37.923-04:00

2:29 pmwell my Dad is now in jail..as I write this he's being processed for his sentence of 14 days.I hope he realizes how lucky he is. Drinking and driving is the stupidest thingyou can do. Thank the gods he didn't kill anyone or hurt himself.hopefully this will encourage his recovery..the funny thing is all I can think about now is getting wasted..fuck.araMat

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117826646608288962005-06-03T15:20:00.000-04:002005-06-03T15:24:06.613-04:00

3:20 pmall I can think of is going home, drinking as many beers as I can and smoking pot beforeFred gets home. Also a few cigarettes in there as well. After Fred's b-day last weekendwe've had lots of left over booze, since then I've basically been self medicating every day.I like that numb feeling, except a few hours later I sometimes feel guilty.aramaT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117815707291050212005-06-03T12:16:00.000-04:002005-06-03T12:21:47.296-04:00

12:16 pmmy mother just called me to let me know that my Dad will be sentence on Monday for hismany DUI's... It looks like he'll only do time on the weekends.. He is so incredibly lucky and he doesn't even know it, probably because he's drunk all the time.. Which he denies...What a terrible cycle, I just wish it would stop.araMAT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117814025459532572005-06-03T11:53:00.000-04:002005-06-03T11:53:45.463-04:00

10313042a4990162b901770721l[1] Originally uploaded by aramat. my $36,000 friend before the setting!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117812671445210772005-06-03T11:16:00.000-04:002005-06-03T11:31:11.450-04:00

11:29 amwhat the fuck?apparently all of my co workers are having a bbq today.no one asked me if I would like to join in. They are literally feet awayas I write settling up money and disturbing tasks... I feel like such a loser.what did I do to these people? I have been nothing but nice and polite. Last weekwhen no one wanted to stuff envelopes for our mail out I volunteered to help, today Idid

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117719596040376712005-06-02T09:32:00.000-04:002005-06-02T09:39:56.046-04:00

9:32 amits getting harder everyday to come to work.I like this job and I refuse to be bullied out of it.. But it'svery difficult to be in a place where I know people don't like me.usually, as far as I know anyway I've always been liked by my co workers..I'm nice and thoughtful and these bitches hate me! Even my boss, I can tellthat she doesn't like me.. She's been sick all week so I haven't had

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117630583205085122005-06-01T08:46:00.000-04:002005-06-01T08:56:59.520-04:00

8:46 ameveryone here is sick..its making me ill just listening to all this coughing and wheezing going on..just go home!I don't' like feeling angry like this, sucha waste of energy but I do feel very angry today.its like people here live in a cave. I've got too manycomments on my pink pants today its starting to aggravate me.most people in my office wear sweat pants, a bunch of bums!I just can't

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117629062080548202005-06-01T08:30:00.000-04:002005-06-01T08:31:02.083-04:00

8:30 ami hate everyone here todayi want to go home.araMat*bad mOOd*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117542912200048892005-05-31T08:35:00.000-04:002005-05-31T08:35:12.270-04:00

10313042a7772404b791932769l[1] Originally uploaded by aramat. yesterday i was in the washroom and these two women came in talking about me in french. now i don't speak french fluently but my comprehension is pretty good... then they switched into english and said "fucking skinny bitch, she can stick that ring up her ass too!"when i walked out of that stall and when they saw me i swear i

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117466765989273822005-05-30T11:21:00.000-04:002005-05-30T11:26:05.993-04:00

11:21 amtoday my lover is 30 years old! i can't wait to see him tonight!his party was lots of fun on saturday, drank lots, ate lots good times!i really am a lucky lady to have Fred, he is unbelievable!better go,co workers are bothering me...araMat

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117399163564373752005-05-29T16:39:00.000-04:002005-05-29T16:39:23.570-04:00

backyard fun Originally uploaded by aramat. my head has been cut off!

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117398885497823702005-05-29T16:34:00.000-04:002005-05-29T16:34:45.573-04:00

action with the hack Originally uploaded by aramat. fun times at Fred's b-day

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117224077936288582005-05-27T15:57:00.000-04:002005-05-27T16:01:17.940-04:00

3:57 pmi think i might die if i have to stay here till 5pm today.there is nothing to do. i've been readinghttp://www.notproud.comand posting my own dirty little secretes...i am so dam hungry because all those fat ass bitches ate all the pizza now ihave a headache..that's it!i'm leaving!aramaT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117216315041264272005-05-27T13:47:00.000-04:002005-05-27T13:51:55.046-04:00

1:47 pmwell i was right.. all the veggie pizza was gone when i went for lunch.i asked for my money back and i got the look of death.."why don't you just pick off the meat?" this bitch asks me..."because i'm a vegetarian and i don't eat meat"everyone with veggie slices suddenly looked very guilty but no oneoffered me a piece.sometimes i feel lonely here, its only been about month since i started

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117208004267346292005-05-27T11:30:00.000-04:002005-05-27T11:33:24.273-04:00

11:30 ami was just in the washroom, this lady was bitching about howthe weather is making her hair all frizzy.. so we start talking abouthair, i'm playing around with mine and i found my first GREY hair!i have no problem being 31, but i guess i'm starting to look it too!*SIGH*although i did get ID'd for smokes last week!araMAt *the grey*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117199139971936182005-05-27T09:05:00.000-04:002005-05-27T09:05:39.976-04:00

killer heals Originally uploaded by aramat.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117197136811739682005-05-27T08:18:00.000-04:002005-05-27T08:32:16.816-04:00

8:18 amits going to rain today my knee's are hurting...i had a dream last night that i was being attacked by a man.he was trying to steal my purse and i wouldn't let go of it.in my struggle with him i realized i was outside of my parentshome and i could see my little sister in the window.in the struggle i began to kick the side of the house and yellfor my father. i didn't remember this dream

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117121267167410352005-05-26T11:18:00.000-04:002005-05-26T11:27:47.173-04:00

11:18amslow day at work.. gotta love the government..well working for them anyway.. except this morning when iopened my desk i found a pile of mouse shit! lovely way to start the day.i woke up this morning thinking about John. its been over a year now sincehe died. everything is different. happy moments are always followed witha moment of relfection. especially if its something I know John would

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1117113211438955872005-05-26T09:06:00.000-04:002005-05-26T09:13:31.443-04:00

9:07 amyou would believe me blog if i told you that i've missed you?countless times i've composed entries in my head but never posted.right this moment i'm sitting in my government cubebirthday cake is being attacked, its so early i can't eatchocolate...i'll post again soon!araMAT *is engaged*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1103330219371491892004-12-17T19:32:00.000-05:002004-12-17T19:36:59.370-05:00

04/12/17 its taken me so long to finally get back to my blog i'm here and i don't know what i want to write anymore. everyday i compose these long indepth blogs in my head, on the way to work on the bus, in the elevator *SIGH* and so on... but now... i feel blank. araMaT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1093294842056843632004-08-23T16:48:00.000-04:002004-08-23T17:00:42.056-04:00

040823 4:46pm busy days. mainly consumed by a telecomunications giant that i now work for.. i'm planning my great escape as i write this... soon i hope to be free till then i can only dream. these days my dreams are full screams and the horrible realization that i will never see John again. 6 months now and it still feels like he was with us just yesterday. i faked sick today so i came home to

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1089727487842888412004-07-13T10:04:00.000-04:002004-08-23T16:48:00.193-04:00

9:55 am its been 5mo now since John has died. this morning it hit me as if for the first time, it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, i almost threw up. i cried all the way to work and the moment a co worker asked how i was, i lost it again. i miss him so much. in about 30min from now is when he was pronounced dead. aramaT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1086126263932868422004-06-01T17:42:00.000-04:002004-06-01T17:44:23.933-04:00

5:42 pm i haven't had anytime to blog! now that i'm back to work full time there isn't much time for anything! i'll be making some time soon enough for my special friends. looking forward to that! araMAT *gainfully employed*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1085153085640980952004-05-21T11:24:00.000-04:002004-05-21T11:24:45.640-04:00

11:24 am so it begins. this afternoon i go into WORK! paid WORK. i'm so excited to join the masses once again.... although i'm having trouble finding something to wear, i guess once i get paid i'll have to buy some new clothes. only after i pay all my bills and money to phred. its going to take awhile to get back on track.. my cute neighbor just lent me her sandals. she's such a sweet lady but

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1084379108376667782004-05-12T12:21:00.000-04:002004-05-12T12:25:08.376-04:00

12:21 pm Wei hui said in Shanghai baby that anything can happen on a wednesday. i hope so... araMAT*is a little nervous*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1084286571528844482004-05-11T10:42:00.000-04:002004-05-11T10:42:51.526-04:00

10:42 am i've been avoiding my blog but not my life. things are changing, and for the better. everyday my heart aches for my cousin, i miss him so much. but i've decided to take a page from my cousins life and implement it, into mine. no matter what was going on in his life or in his head John always approached things with a smile and all of his effort. i'm striving to be more like him every

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1082640651830264942004-04-22T09:30:00.000-04:002004-04-22T09:35:07.076-04:00

9:27 am i just picked up a roll of film i had developed. it was of Nicole's wedding. Johns little sister. there were lots of pictures of him as well. i sat bawling my eyes out in the parking lot. fuck i miss him... for my birthday John's mom, my auntie J sent up a great picture that they enlarged of John and i when were about 4 or 5 years old. he's hugging me. really sweet. my 30th b-day was

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1082127140673794912004-04-16T10:52:00.000-04:002004-04-16T10:56:13.310-04:00

10:51 am tomorrow is my birthday. my family is coming up. i'm excited to see them but things here have been tense. phred and i are walking through the motions of a relationship, i love him so much but i'm not sure if we can repair the damage. i hope we can. i don't really feel like celebrating. my job sucks but at least i have one. i think of John everyday, he had just turned 30 less than a

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1081252234560468402004-04-06T07:50:00.000-04:002004-04-06T07:54:13.810-04:00

7:46 am my job was postponed again. phred has asked me to move home at the end of the month if i don't have a full time job. i'm getting ready for an interview at 10 am, then at noon as well. i'm still sad everyday for John, i cry when i see his picture. i cry when i see someone who looks like him. i cry when i read about strangers dying around the world. i cry when i think of my birthday coming

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1080829449214732742004-04-01T09:24:00.000-05:002004-04-01T09:30:01.950-05:00

9:23 am i start work on monday. i have an interview for a better job on tuesday. i saw a camaro this morning and immediately started crying for John, that was his favorite car. i'm still crying a lot for him. for his wife and kids. made out with my sexy friend last weekend, did lots of drugs and got really drunk. it felt good to let it all go. i'll be 30 in 16 days. phred and i had sex in the

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1079100436790413862004-03-12T09:07:00.000-05:002004-03-12T09:10:23.763-05:00

9 am they say bad things come in three's. since John's death his sister gave birth to a boy named Ian which actually means John in gaelic. the baby has downs syndrome. my aunt is in the hospital with complications from MS. my mum say's the baby is incredibly beautiful and his parents are dealing with the shock of his disabilty. Ian will be very loved by our family. still my thoughts are with

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1078333024844914142004-03-03T11:57:00.000-05:002004-03-03T11:59:59.390-05:00

11:49 am John's dead. that's what i hear over and over in my head. since the funeral things haven't got any better for anyone. over 650 people attended his funeral with his awesome yellow camero leading the way. when he was put into the herse his friends reved the car while we all stood there crying. i did my reading at the funeral just fine. as i passed John in the casket on the way i could

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1077008574733722282004-02-17T04:02:00.000-05:002004-02-17T04:05:29.780-05:00

4:02 am i'm drunk. my cousin MaTt that has been in a domincain jail for the past four and half years is home, i saw him tonight. he was there for tryin to bring drugs back into canada. that dosen't matter right now. we have all missed him so much. now he is home and the one person that really wanted to see him is fucking dead! fuck. i can't stop crying right now. i know John wouldn't want me to

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1076866019193238492004-02-15T12:26:00.000-05:002004-02-15T12:29:31.716-05:00

12:22 pm at around 10:30am on friday the 13th my cousin John was killed in a snow mobile accident. John just turned 30 a few weeks ago. he has two beautiful kids, a boy and a girl. a great wife and a great life. i haven't slept or really eaten since. phred and i came as soon as we heard. my family is devasated. John was the only boy in family of 5 girls! we were really close. i can't stop

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1076688664523918202004-02-13T11:11:00.000-05:002004-02-13T11:13:34.560-05:00

11:09 am i've had a bad week. at least i have the sex party to look forward too tomorrow! *SIGH* two cocks and a pussy, i'm sooo lucky... aramAt

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1076419646798345342004-02-10T08:27:00.000-05:002004-02-10T08:29:52.403-05:00

8:17 am my work load is diminishing very fast. i'm guessing today may just be a half day. i don't see how i can stretch it out for much longer. its good thing i may have something already linned up... paul sent me an email the other day asking me to meet him at the chateau laurier, he had the prime ministers suite. he was there for a conference and had the room for the night. i ignored his email

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1076075036378212112004-02-06T08:43:00.000-05:002004-02-06T08:46:16.436-05:00

8:35 am thank the gods its friday! busy day. at 10 am i've been summoned to to ccra for a security clearance, (which i already posses) so i will be eligible for my old job in the international tax office. i don't want that job, i'd rather gouge my own eyes out that hold that position again. so i'm considering not going... i know by doing so i may be limiting my options but the thought of

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075996076363209692004-02-05T10:47:00.000-05:002004-02-05T10:50:15.373-05:00

10:36 am i asked phred to do one simple thing for me and he fucked it up. this entry might be a mild rant but who fucking cares?! last night after being throughly fucked i asked phred to please set the alarm clock. he set the time but failed to turn it on. i woke up at 8 am in a complete state of panic. usually i wouldn't care that much if i'm late for work but this job is just temporary and

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075906635348536552004-02-04T09:57:00.000-05:002004-02-04T09:59:32.686-05:00

9:52 am suddenly starving. i can smell someones bagel but my protruding little belly is preventing me from eating this morning.. not working that much so far today. i have a bad attitude. i wanna go home. i wanna talk to my dad but i have no idea what to say. i wanna have sex, all consuming sex the kind where my mind can't even wander even for one second any where else. i wanna REAL job. *sigh

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075906351840456952004-02-04T09:52:00.000-05:002004-02-04T09:54:49.280-05:00

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it bepoetry, writing or song. You love beauty andcreativity, and usually are highly intelligent.Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yetalso bold since you hold firm in your beliefs. What Type of Soul Do You Have ? brought to you by Quizilla

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075899966012643062004-02-04T08:06:00.000-05:002004-02-04T08:08:23.950-05:00

8:04 am i have no idea what to write this morning. i guess i'll write later then........ aramaT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-107584042289303482004-02-03T15:33:00.000-05:002004-02-03T15:35:59.530-05:00

3:31 pm i feel as if my heart is going to jump out of my throat, like i'm on the verge of having a panic attack.... *DEEP BREATHE* this is the first time since i started the great anti depressant experiment that i have felt like this... stressed about dad. my mind is racing. almost time to go home.. aramaT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075818938935333602004-02-03T09:35:00.000-05:002004-02-03T09:37:55.233-05:00

9:26 am well it finally happened. my dad got pulled over and was arrested last friday night for driving without a license and blowing over the legal limit. my poor mother found out by a police officer knocking on her door to let her know that my dad was in jail. her first question was if he had hurt anyone. thank whatever gods may exist that my dad didn't hurt anyone or himself. aparently

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075754683945825652004-02-02T15:44:00.000-05:002004-02-02T15:46:59.106-05:00

3:41 pm day is almost done... mmmm s.o.b has been teasing me quite nicely today. i'd like to tease him till he's ready to give it to me..... feeling very sexual, i'm hoping phred is too but some how i see my myself alone tonight with my hand in my pants..... its been a better monday that i was expecting. araMAT ps s.o.b i hope your feeling better

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075737344927059822004-02-02T10:55:00.000-05:002004-02-02T10:58:00.496-05:00

10:51 am sexy office boy sent me a message about our elevator rides, now i'm feeling hot and bothered. still after all this time s.o.b makes me wet. *sigh* just remembering the way he'd look at me, a deep and intense stare not saying anything fighting the urge to rip his clothes off! ahg! i'd like to fuck him again. araMAT * feelin slutty*

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075728229416246252004-02-02T08:23:00.000-05:002004-02-02T08:26:04.560-05:00

8:08 am i've been given my assignment for the day now i can hide myself away in my office which i am truely thankful for and get this monday over with. i work in an office entirely made up of women except for two lonely men that are rarely seen around here. the afflication i call engagement has gone rampant here. so all the talk centre's around my office mates impending nuptials. i've taken to

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1075727093162187552004-02-02T08:04:00.000-05:002004-02-02T08:07:08.466-05:00

7:59 am i've been at work for 25 mins already. phred dropped me off way to early. today is his day off, i hope he enjoys it he really deserves it.. i'm tired from a wasted evening watching football and reality tv. i don't like survivor, i made a stand against reality tv when the show came out so now i'm completley soured on it. i can't bear to watch... last night i did with neville and phred and

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1074882978238705892004-01-23T13:36:00.000-05:002004-01-23T13:38:20.200-05:00

1:33 pm i've been a bad blogger lately... busy. getting busier which is really good. i'm pleased that i get full time hours next week. this weekend my sista is coming up which will be lots of fun. i get to hear all about the new man in her life that is if she dosen't bring him with her... phred and i didn't get to see our "special friends" but the new plan is to see them on valentines!! *SIGH

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1074209819323843382004-01-15T18:36:00.000-05:002004-01-15T18:38:51.000-05:00

6:33 pm its absolutley freezing! but besides that things are good. i'm working and i'm taking my antiDepressants again which has helped to balance me out.... i'm so tried today, fighting off a cold and right now i'm blogging just so i can stay awake. i have to pick phred up in less than an hour, after that i can come home and flake out... i really should be going to the gym, this weekend phred

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1073395632684807272004-01-06T08:27:00.000-05:002004-01-06T08:28:52.060-05:00

another piece of exciting news! i got a sewing machine for christmas! for some unknown reason i truely belive it will change my life...

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1073395304174943332004-01-06T08:21:00.000-05:002004-01-06T08:23:23.623-05:00

8:20 am today is going to be a good day! it has to be or i think i may start to lose hope. since i've returned from the cruise i haven't refilled my extremely expensive anti depressant prescription and i'm starting to feel crappy again. like almost anything can set me off into a bad or sad mood. but not today! i'm trying to remain strong and positive. at 2pm i have an interview at a non profit

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1072878438514948062003-12-31T08:47:00.000-05:002003-12-31T08:48:49.716-05:00

8:45 am i'm home from cruising the Caribbean!! what an amazing 10 days we had. when i arrived home to the Tdot my family was giddy with excitement although you could never tell from the expression on my mothers freshly botoxed face. she did look beautiful though... throughout the entire trip she took great pains to keep that new face out of the hot Caribbean sun while my sister and i tried our

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1071766524040618092003-12-18T11:55:00.000-05:002003-12-18T11:56:38.186-05:00

11:56 am its been awhile since i've written and this will be my last entry till the new year i suspect. things have been kind of blah around here. i am excited about my trip though. finally its starting to kick in that in few short days i'll be Puerto Rico. i'm going to miss phred like mad while i'm gone. i'm a bit worried that he might be lonely when i'm gone, and when phred is lonely he

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1070477340817792112003-12-03T13:49:00.000-05:002003-12-03T13:49:55.450-05:00

1:50 pm day 8 of the great antidepressant experiment and i'm feeling pretty good. i'm still not sure if its the drugs or if i'm just convincing myself that i feel better. whatever it is i'm happy so that's all that matters. one of the side effects i am feeling is lack of appetite, which is helping in my quest to lose a few pounds! getting close to my departure date for the cruise and my family

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1070137573432331502003-11-29T15:26:00.000-05:002003-11-29T15:27:03.233-05:00

3:25 pm well its now day four of the great antidepressant experiment and today i feel good. i feel even but i doubt that its the drugs. yesterday was a real low point for me. phred took me the passport office (i leave in 21 days!) where there was a longer line than expected. that thwarted his plans so he got mad at me. in the car on the way home after apologizing i just lost it. at a red light i

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1069958511660389912003-11-27T13:41:00.000-05:002003-11-27T13:42:38.500-05:00

1:41 pm so i'm into day 2 of the 14 day antidepressant experiment. after 14 days i return to my doctor and she'll evaluate the situation from there. my doctor was great, really easy to talk to and very understanding. phred on other hand had a different reaction. he's always supportive but he's also very anti pill. the first concern he raised was about if this drug would affect my libido which

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1069852877270279802003-11-26T08:21:00.000-05:002003-11-26T08:22:02.856-05:00

8:20 am well after dropping really subtle hints to phred about feeling depressed i finally said something outright in the car this morning. i was extremely nonchalant but i'm sure he understood what i was saying. sometimes i get like that, i can be really direct about certain things but obviously not about this. phred is aware i'm sure that i haven't exactly been myself but then again i

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1069697187418579212003-11-24T13:06:00.000-05:002003-11-24T13:07:09.750-05:00

1:05 pm i called my doctor. i go see her on wednesday. *SIGH* araMAT

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1069374226208694542003-11-20T19:23:00.000-05:002003-11-20T19:24:23.340-05:00

7:21 pm it really is amazing how phred can make me feel. all day i've been on the verge of tears afraid that at any moment i was going to have a break down and just now phred called on his break and my mood has lifted significantly. i know this feeling is just temporary, i'll feel better when i see him later but again it will be a fleeting feeling. i've been having this internal struggle with

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1069255345214216312003-11-19T10:22:00.000-05:002003-11-19T10:24:13.560-05:00

10:22 am i've spent at least 2 hours this morning reading other peoples blogs possibly in an effort to avoid writing in mine...i've come across some really interesting ones and others are just in my opinion awful. especially ones spouting religious crap, buy hey that's just me... i had a conversation last night with neville, he sounds just as low as i feel right now. he's contemplating breaking

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3713812.post-1069171468003476222003-11-18T11:04:00.000-05:002003-11-18T11:05:02.326-05:00

11:03 am still down. can't get up.

Aramathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650929716622433248noreply@blogger.com0