i just want to write here all day.
i really do feel a big purging coming on.
i've got let it out, i think its giving me a
headache holding back so much.
i'm not used to this
much restraint ..
especially in a journal. or whatever it is i want..
or feel i want..

this could be the place to unload it all without the
fear and hesitation of being it being read by unwanted readers.
only those i tell about this page
will know, and i haven't told a soul.
i know you can't completely posses something but
having something that is just mine
is a good feeling, a safe feeling.
i'd like to be truthful, i want to be truthful.
mostly to myself then it will be easier to do so
with others. not that i lie or deceive
its all how i'm perceived..
and that's based on what i show, or don't show.
i feel like i manipulate my own personality way to much, or comprise it..
its like personality prostitution.

10am still haven't done much work. i think i'm going to take my film in and get a coffee..

aramat the tired