8:31 am

so far i'm sleep walking through this week
and just this morning i discovered that i'm able
to argue as well in this sleep deprived state.
all night as i sat in the living room with that
flat screen tv staring back at me all i could see was
more of my money leaving my hands before i ever get it.
so far all this tv has provided besides an exceptional picture is stress!
already i have many financial obligations that are slipping, i really didn't
need another one. phred knew my concerns but came to conclusion that
$25 each a week for the next 3 months will pay for the tv in its entirety.
which it will but my job is ending in less than 3 weeks and he's currently
not working. this morning when i asked if he would come out with me wednesday
night he said he shouldn't citing lack of funds and looked at me as if i should have known that. fuck that.
i'm going out alone if i have too, every night of the week he goes out
pretty much to his (our) friends and there they smk tons of weed and order food, but its an issue if i want to go out...
well i'm tired of staying home alone, the only thing to benefit
from it has been my art which has been my saving grace in my
solitary evenings.
i feel as if i'm about to burst,
or that i'm on the
edge of something getting ready
to make my leap forward.

dam. the office is starting to
fill up with its faithful herd.

aramat *uterus is screaming*