9:12 pm

feeling like shit right now.
My uncle is leaving his family and returning to south America taking the ashes of my Grandfather with him. I will miss my crazy uncle but I'm happy that Grandad is going back to his homeland. He will be back in Guyana before Christmas.

I may never see my Uncle again.

I can't even the remember the last time I saw him. He didn't even come to my wedding, he and Auntie were going through a bad time, and they still are. I think the last time I saw him was about 3 months ago in his sisters kitchen. My lovely Auntie, I wonder how she feels about her little brother leaving, maybe never seeing him again?
My uncle is also my Godfather, the night of my confirmation in to adult christainhood (something I have renounced since then) my Grandma fell down the Church stairs and in a bloody fall broke her nose in front of a horrified group of on lookers. In all the photos I'm crying or looking very troubled while the rest of the family took her to the hospital. Grandma is one tough lady, she's had her share knocks over the years.
Anyway,
I'm done.
Sister was here earlier to drop off the puppy while she and her loverman went out to dinner. I love that dog but he doesn't listen very well...
husband is out watching hockey,
I'm on my second beer, last one in the fridge but I have an open bottle of white wine.
just rolled a gross roach dube feeling kind of low, physically lower I mean like I'm actually a few inches deeper inside myself..
I'm not stoned enough to feel hungry yet though, normally I can always eat but lately I haven't had much of an appetite.

araMat ouT