8:45 am

i'm not sure what's going in my head, chemically that is. last week i was
feeling like shit and this week not so bad. maybe its because the job search
is looking better? the sex party? i don't know what it is? i'm not complaining
it just makes me wonder... well i need to see my doctor soon anyway so i'll
bring this up when i see her. i'm not sure what her reaction will be but i'm
hoping she'll have some suggestions on how to maybe regulate my moods.
i'm open to taking drugs if she suggests that, i'm not sure what else she
suggest. the last time i saw therapist of sorts was about a year after i was raped.
a year to late now that i look back on it.... anyway!!
our "special friends" sent us an email saying they had a great time, i'm happy
to hear there doing well. this was the fourth time we've all been together and it keeps
getting hotter and hotter... i never would have imagined this being something i would be
comfortable with but i really am. i find it more of a turn on than anything else. i feel no
jealousy or worries at all. phred and i have talked about it from every angle so i think we were really prepared which helps if anything was to occur. the guys are the ones who have had issues, performance issues that is.... i guess having another man in the room can slow things down, but my grrl and i helped them out...) *SIGH*
now i'm all hot and bothered from thinking about it...where's a nice cock when you need one?

araMAT *the horny*