9:27 am

i just picked up a roll of film i had developed.
it was of Nicole's wedding. Johns little sister. there were
lots of pictures of him as well. i sat bawling my eyes out
in the parking lot. fuck i miss him...
for my birthday John's mom, my auntie J sent up a great
picture that they enlarged of John and i when were about
4 or 5 years old. he's hugging me. really sweet.
my 30th b-day was great. i thought of John all day.
i thought of the phone call i didn't get from him, teasing me
that i'm an old lady now! he would have said that too! we were always
teasing on another... and about hockey too! he definaltey would have callled
the other night to say how bad the Sens suck! i miss John so much. him dying
has made me think a lot about death and the afterlife. that is if there is such a thing?
anyway, i gotta run.
araMAT *loves John*