10:25 am

today i'm feeling happy despite a headache that has been lingering for 2 days now. i received a phone call this morning in regards to job and ever since i've been beaming! its just a relief to know that the many resumes that i've sent out are starting to result in interviews.
this weekend our "special friends" are coming to visit.... i'm sooo excited! not just about the potential group sex activities, but about having our first guests at our new place. i spoke to them last night and they are just as excited!
on Halloween there's this great event happening called the Witches Ball that i think were all going to. our friend colin is coming back into town the Ball is taking place at his old bar. its great that he;s coming but wanted to stay with us, it was difficult telling him couldn't but his presence would have ruined any sex parties!! now he's pissed at us but we've had these plans for over a month now, we haven't seen our "special friends" since Aug!
anyway... i hope my new drivers license shows up soon, i need to update my passport for my trip. i think my sister said its about 50 days away... sweet! i'll be cruising the south Caribbean for Christmas.
my beautiful sister was in the Toronto Star on tuesday, the front page of section called I.D standing on the shore of lake ON in a pink hat. very cool, most important to her though was that she was the stylist for the shoot again. i'm so proud of her!

araMat out

peace

9:14 am

yesterday turned out to be not as expected. as i was leaving for the Y when Joanne called.
she's back from her honeymoon looking tanned and very happy. she came by and checked out our new place and appeared thoroughly jealous, which made me slightly happy...lol its so nice living here.
we went shopping (which is very uncharacteristic of me to go shopping with other women besides my sister) and picked up some pictures from her wedding and the honeymoon. i got a massive container of laundry detergent. the pictures were great especially the whole roll taken my her 8 year old nephew, everything was at waist height with plenty of pictures of plants, the dog and the garden Buddha.
the few pictures that i appeared in i have to say i'm pretty pleased with how i looked in that smokin dress with my killa heels. phred really liked how i looked too, he jizzed all over that gorgeous dress later that night. which reminds me i have to take it to the dry cleaners....
i was a nice distraction hanging out and it looks like we'll have plenty of time to chill, Joanne's contract just ended.
my new cell phone just arrived, one of the perks of phreds new job. now i can ditch my dinosaur phone with the elastic bands keeping it together.

better run
araMAT

PS
thanks S.O.B

9:20 am

i think i may suffer from depression. this is just my own
diagnosis i'm not sure.
lately i'm lacking motivation, i don't care as much about things
that i usually would have an interest in. i don't feel like
crying all the time or anything like that, its mostly the
lack of motivation that is startling me. i'm trying really hard
to snap out of it but its brought some questions to mind.
like when is it time to maybe consider bringing this up with my
doctor, is it even worth it? should i consider medication? i don't know!
its because i don't have a job, i was so busy before with the election and now
nothing. i'm not even beading as much anymore, usually when i have the time
that's all i do. it takes almost all my energy to get myself to the gym then after
that i find myself just not caring about anything until the last minute. like preparing dinner or cleaning up the house. i feel like there is a cloud over me until i have to be ON. until someone, usually phred needs something more from me so i then i emerge and
i'm me again. i think the solution is to be working again, but the whole process of finding work is getting to me as well... agh!
i'm fighting the urge to go back to bed and forget about all this for awhile but that won't help the situation. i don't really feel like discussing this with phred either, i'm worried that he won't understand and might think the worst of me, that nuts or something.
anyway enough of that!
i better try and get out of the house now.
araMAT *feels blue*

9:28 am

i find myself in an all to familar situation again, looking for work!
Elections Ontario was such a great job, i'm keeping my fingers crossed for
elections Canada but who knows? what i would like is my pay check from EO and now!
besides looking for work i spend my days lately at the Y and unpacking boxes. i can't believe how much stuff we've accumulated over the years, i find the pile to donate is
growing everyday.
when we returned from the thanksgiving weekend we found out that the empty house
next to us had caught on fire! if it wasn't for the neighbors quick reaction it may have spread to our house! that only cements our decision to get insurance and to do so quickly.
well i guess its time to fulfill my household duties and do some laundry....

aramaT *domestic goddess*

4:13 am

i'm sitting in my parents house not able to sleep.
slightly drunk from tonights celebrations with my sisters friends.
i sat in a smokey bar watching her talk with her friends, laughing and having fun
i suddenly felt far removed from it, like i was watching her on TV.
i get that feeling sometimes when i'm at home.
my back hurts from this awful bed they have in old room i haven't slept well
since i arrived. shortly after i wake up tomorrow it will be time to leave and i'll
soon be back in my own bed. soon back into my life,
myself.

araMAT *feeling not myself*

1:33 pm

i have to say that i love chillin in my new place.
it's so bright, clean and new. i still can't believe that we live here
sometimes! its a REAL house. yesterday i went by our old place to pick up
the mail, it seems so ugly now. i have so many amazing memories of that place though. phred and i spent a lot of time there. the majority of our relationship was spent there.
we had our first christmas tree there last year, it was small and kind of decrepit but we loved it.
i was really hoping to have our first thanksgiving here in our new place this weekend but, as usual i have given in to family pressure and have agreed to go home.

i'm off to the Y!

araMat

1:06 pm

thank god elections ontario still needs me! i can use the money! elections canada wants to meet with me, which is just great, this coud lead toa full time job!

gotta run
ararMat *election bitch*

8:47 am

i've been here since 7am the phones are ringing off the hook. i just took myself off the que for a sec....
polls open right now! i really hope everything goes smoothly, especially with all the certificates that i've issued! more than half the voters in ottawa centre most likely have certificates with my name on it...
agh!!!!!